So I leave for study abroad in Germany in 13 days! YIIIIKES! It kind of gives me butterflies in my stomach when I think about it. I sent my host family a letter this week, so I hope they will get it soon and email me, because I do not have their email address and I would like to be more sure about how to get to their home once I arrive in Kiel (if I can find the bus at the airport in Hamburg). I think the main thing that scares me is awkwardness which goes hand in hand with making a fool of myself. I almost wish that the host family didn't speak English so that I wouldn't have it to fall back on. Sure, it'd be a lot more difficult, but I could really get the language. I'm also scared about traveling myself. I feel very confident when I'm with someone - I lead. But alone I wander around with a worried look on my face and make stupid decisions.
I'm going to call my relatives in Switzerland soon (I need to buy an international calling card first, and I don't know where to go for that) to see if I can stay there after my classes in Germany end. I was going to travel around with Matt and his parents, but I don't think that's a good plan anymore. Another reason that would be good is because I would save much more money and be able to pay for school in August.
Last night I went to Phantom of the Opera with Matt and his mom and aunt and cousins. We went to Chili's first. Anyway, I was mostly excited for it because I wanted to dress up because I haven't worn more than Sunday clothes since . . . probably prom last year, or Halloween (does that count?) Well, the show was amazing, but I was kind of sad that I gave up most of Cousin's day for it. I just felt like I couldn't say no when they had paid so much and I had said I could go so long ago, not knowing that . It really made me re-realize that I need to put family first. The last few weeks I've been feeling like I should quit all but one job in the fall so that I can have lots of time to do things with my family and be at home and get things done. I've enjoyed having time to read again and to go to baseball games, etc., but I haven't been able to as much as would be nice - I'm not going to regret not working more on my deathbed. I think that I will quit Golden Swirl in the fall, but keep the other two and eventually give up East MIllcreek, maybe in January, so that I can catch up on being one semester ahead financially. Anyway, I'll be going up to the rest of Cousins Day and for the traditional Glauser family 4th of July celebration with the parade around the Brighton loop. I'm so sad that we don't own the cabin anymore - it's THE Glauser cabin! Maybe someday I will be able to buy it and enjoy it with my family. Maybe in heaven I'll have a place just like it. That's the only place where we vacationed, and now it's gone. Also, I can't shake the feeling that Brighton is still kind of "our place". I know the hikes and the boardwalk around the lake and the roads and the trees, rocks, mountains, bushes, streams, and flowers.